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After reading back the tile it sounds really selfish, but I need this! For the last 13+ years I have been committed to several roles: mother, wife, educator, etc.
In trying to make sure that I did the very best that I could in those roles, I decommitted to my happiness, individuality, and confidence.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have enjoyed my life. I have accomplished most of the earlier goals that I set for myself. People where I am from would consider me one of the ones who made it out.
I graduated from Spelman College. I also obtained a MAT and EdS since graduating. I am happily married with three kids, we have great careers, and a dog. You can say we live the “American Dream”. For a while, I was actually pretty satisfied with my life.
In 2015, I decided that I wanted to give entrepreneurship a try. I really wanted to make this happen. I took classes, bought this domain name, wrote so many ideas. Nothing happened with it! I wasn’t even half-committed to making it work.
I was stuck!
I have some products on Amazon and write posts every blue moon. I have been able to draw in a small income. I might make enough to buy a couple of happy meals each month. I have made promises to myself to be more consistent, but failed.
Not only was I stuck in my business desires, but my health has been a concern as well. In 2014, I was diagnosed with Chronic Kidney Disease-FSGS. You would think that the diagnosis would be a wake-up call.
Humph! The only time I would get serious about my health was when it was time for my doctor’s appointment. I would spend two weeks eating right and taking my meds daily.
l would manipulate my way into ok Dr. reports. However, years of this neglect allowed the disease to progress. Fatigue and weakness consumed my body. October 2018, I was told that my kidney function was at 75% and my irons levels were very low. This had never happened before.
That day was when I first decided to get it together. I joined this wonderful mastermind thinking if I spent money it would make me more committed. I began to follow the doctors recommendations and was able to get my function to 98% (Jan).
You would think that spending money and getting my health together would motivate me. Nope! I would show up to every call/video, take notes, make goals, and just sit. I had my husband buy this exercise bike . Ha! I use is sporadically.
My mind would not fully commit to anything long-term. I had the desire and knowledge to accomplish my goals, but I could not get it together.
Enough is enough!
I just decided that I was done. March 23, 2019, I learned a lesson that made everything clear to me. (I cannot wait to tell you that story. ) I realized that anything I needed to do, wasn’t going to be for my family, money, etc.
It had to be for me!
March 26, my 36th birthday, I began my #365daysofme journey. I want to rediscover the girl I fell in love with as a teen. This journey is for me to figure out how she fits in the roles that I have committed to. It will also be a challenge for me to see if I can get this entrepreneurial dream to happen. So…
(Deep breath!) Im putting it into the atmosphere!
For the 358 days, I am committed to:
- Following the instructions from my doctor to help minimize the symptoms of FSGS.
- Losing at least 30 lbs
- Reading, daily, Acts of Faith and Touched by Truth.
- Working in my business at least 15 hours a week.
- Immediately forgiving myself if I am not perfect within this journey.
I would love your support. Follow me on all social media @memorynotthings or follow #365daysofme. I
Have you made a commitment this year?
Please leave your commitments and journeys in the comments below. We can do this together!